About Me - Lorna Slade Counsellor and Psychotherapist

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Counselling works for people and it could work for you.

I take an integrative approach, which means I use a wide range of tools, techniques and therapies. While open, non-judgemental and client-led I am also results-oriented, as I recognise that you want to make a real and lasting change. Depending on your presenting issue(s) and goals for therapy, my overarching aim is that you will learn to become your own therapist.

I decided to specialise in healing from narcissistic abuse after decades of experience of the disorder in family, relationships and work. That allows me to bring a deeper level of empathy and to validate your story; it also means that I have a good instinct for the appropriate methods to help you to heal and, if relevant, to deal with on-going interactions with a narcissist. I offer a deep knowledge of the range of issues that arise during and after narcissistic abuse and an awareness of the particular challenges that you might unconsciously bring to therapy.

This is not an extensive list but I can work with you if:
you had or have a narcissistic parent(s)
you are the target of a narcissist in the workplace
you are in a relationship with a narcissist, deciding whether to split up with them, or the relationship has ended and you wish to start your healing journey
you are experiencing the PTSD-style impacts of narcissistic abuse syndrome after a relationship with a narcissist
you are worried about or have a difficult relationship with your children due to a narcissistic partner (or ex) and/or the toxic influence of narcissistic grandparents
you are dealing with your emotions as well as the behaviours of the narcissist after having gone No Contact  

I am not qualified to clinically diagnose someone as having Narcissistic Personality Disorder. What I am able to do is recognise the many traits and actions that strongly suggests someone is high on the narcissistic spectrum or who has full-blown NPD. I approach each client as unique, but in all of their stories there are striking similarities and key actions and phrases that signal to me that a narcissist is involved.

I offer face-to-face or Skype counselling as people communicate as much through their body language as they do verbally. I do not do telephone counselling for that reason.

I am fully CRB checked and a registered member of the BACP. I am on a register that has been accredited by the Professional Standards Authority.

I worked as a volunteer counsellor for Basildon Mind for more than three years. While at Mind I trained in the Rewind technique and can work with people with PTSD.

Advanced Professional Diploma in Psychotherapeutic Counselling (Ad Pro Dip PC) National Counselling Society.
Diploma in Hypnotherapy and Counselling Skills (Dip Hyp CS) National Hypnotherapy Society.
Applied EFT Level 2 (Practitioner) certificate
EMDR Module One EMDR Centre London

Media portrayals
Narcissism is often misrepresented in the media: it’s now a throwaway comment used to label people who are seemingly vain and overtly self-assured. Articles focus on the ‘grandiosity’, the ‘entitlement’, the inner ‘fantasy life’ of a narcissist as if they all wear those traits on their sleeve. In reality it’s nothing to do with vanity or everyday nastiness and callousness and everything to with a particular, Machiavellian way of operating that truly and sometimes very seriously harms another person: for example a mask-wearing covert narcissist would hide all of those classic traits, potentially for years, and only show their malignancy in certain actions and behaviours aimed exclusively at their victim, while all around are oblivious and disbelieving.

Too many commentators give away in their writings that they have not directly experienced narcissistic abuse. Narcissists have the power we give them, that is true, and fear of them feeds their power, but intellectual arguments that define narcissists as merely ‘selfish’ and that we’re stuck in our own selfish position if we take a judgement on someone who is harming us does nothing but shame the many thousands of victims of this disorder, who seek to heal from it partly by naming the abuse and the abuser. Suggesting that we might make more of an effort to take the narcissist’s actions less personally is helpful, but the fact is that kind of approach is further along the healing spectrum and in the moment we’re human and we’re fragile and we have primeval needs and often, especially as children, we don’t even know what we’re dealing with.
Copyright Lorna Slade 2017-2021
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